The one and done theory; that’s what they’re calling it these days. It seems that more and more families are choosing to stop after having just one child. Two parents, two kids and a dog just doesn’t seem to be the norm these days. The “nuclear family” is changing. This is a conversation I am having with a lot of my friends right now. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I am a fairly new mother of two and the fact that I am, in fact, an only child.
For my husband it was always a no-brainer. We would have two children. He has a brother, he and his brother are very close, so therefore we should have two kids. I, on the other hand, wasn’t so sure. I consider myself a very happy, well-adjusted only child. To this day, I am very close with my parents; I never had to compete for their attention and I did almost everything I wanted to do when I was growing up.
That said, for my first ten birthdays and every holiday in between, I begged for a sibling. BEGGED! It always looked like so much fun when I went to my friends houses with siblings. Even their fighting seemed like fun. Every time I would complain to my parents they reminded me of the same thing, I wouldn’t be able to go to all the cool camps and take all of the dance and singing lessons I loved to take if they had to do it for two. At ten, I realized it was never going to happen, and I stopped asking. I learned to appreciate what I had and vowed to marry someone with at least one sibling so my kid, or kids as it turns out, would have an aunt or uncle.
Lets face it, kids are expensive. Clothes, toys, pediatricians, activities, diapers, furniture (did I mention toys?). In today’s uncertain economy, it’s a little scary to add another person to the budget. You really have to weigh your options and do what’s right for you.
So, here I am, a mother of two (and yes, it is a bit scary at times)… I can’t imagine it any other way. It wasn’t a decision we made over night, and it wasn’t just because my husband wanted it, but for me, my house seemed empty with just one. I just knew. And it has nothing to do with being an only child and always wanting a sibling when I was a kid (or maybe it does), because I had an amazing childhood and I really wouldn’t change it for anything. I think it’s just what made sense for us.
When my friends with only children ask me if they are doing their child a disservice by not giving them a sibling, I tell them being an only child is amazing, and if you ask my husband, having a brother is amazing. You have to do what is right for you, because ultimately I think that what is best for you, is what is best for your kids. I am no expert, but I loved being an only child and I absolutely love being a mother of two adorable little boys. And who knows, maybe a third boy… or girl one day. (My husband will kill me for even thinking about it!)